Sunday, August 5, 2012

Dear Reggie,

You might be surprised why I included you. I thought it fair to say goodbye and thank you to the first guy I loved.

It's been a while since I've seen you. We talked very briefly on gmail chat and that's been it so far. Every time I see your name highlighted and green indicating you're online, I remember how I once felt for you and my heart starts skipping a beat or two. I'm not in-love with you anymore but I still do love you. They weren't kidding when they said the heart doesn't forget.

I suppose I should tell you how much you hurt me. How I felt so betrayed and destroyed that I never trusted anyone like I once trusted you. I'm sorry for bringing this up but I don't want my soul to be stuck here on earth carrying this hurt. This blog is my catharsis.

I loved you and you betrayed that over and over again. And the sad thing is, I can't really blame you can I? I let you keep hurting me. I should have talked to you more and expressed all that I was feeling instead of bottling them in. But somehow I always got tongue-tied around you. Trust me. Even back when we weren't together anymore I always got tongue-tied with you. I couldn't even look you in the eye for long because I'd get all flustered. You always made me feel this way. :)

Anyway, I'll focus on the good stuff. 

Thank you for the butterflies and the hair-raising kisses. For bringing me home countless times and making me know how it feels to be wanted, desired, and loved. I dreamt about babies and a life with you before. And I'm happy to have felt that no matter how briefly.

Thank you for the romance.

Do you know I've never said "I love you" to another guy?

Sad but true.

I hope you'll be happy. Don't play around and hurt your girls ok? Else I'm going to haunt you and you wouldn't like that. I'd put meat in your vegetarian diet.

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